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resources/commonplace/2009-05-16-Answering MachineMessage for the Mental Health Institute.org

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+:PROPERTIES:
+:ID: f632376e-4073-45cb-8299-b3708861885a
+:CREATED: [2009-05-16 Sat 00:34]
+:MODIFIED: [2011-10-09 Sun 12:13]
+:IMPORTED: [2023-02-08 Wed 19:22]
+:END:
+#+title: Answering Machine Message for the Mental Health Institute
+#+filetags: humor public
+
+Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.
+If you are obsessive or compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
+If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
+If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 and 6
+If you are paranoid, we already know who you are, but stay on the line while we trace your call.
+If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
+If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
+If you have short term memory loss, press 9, if you have short term memory loss, press 9, if you have short term memory loss, press 9.
+If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.