83 lines
8.6 KiB
Org Mode
83 lines
8.6 KiB
Org Mode
:PROPERTIES:
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:ID: 6ceed649-7b98-409d-b18e-ecd7fd14203f
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:CREATED: [2009-06-04 Thu 11:19]
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:IMPORTED: [2023-02-08 Wed 19:22]
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:MODIFIED: [2017-02-21 Tue 17:37]
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:END:
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#+title: Outhouse Guide to World Religions
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#+filetags: humor public
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| Taoism | Shit happens. |
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| Confucianism | Confucius says, "Shit Happens." |
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| Buddhism | If shit happens, it isn't really shit. |
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| Islam | If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. |
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| Hinduism | This shit happened before. |
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| Mormonism | This shit is going to happen again. |
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| Beginning Zen | What is the sound of shit happening? |
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| Advanced Zen | Shit is, and is not. |
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| Calvinism | Shit happens because you don't work hard enough. |
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| Judaism | Why does this shit always happen to us? |
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| Catholicism | Shit happens because you are bad. |
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| Karma | If shit happens, you deserve it |
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| Protestantism | Let this shit happen to someone else. |
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| Stoicism | This shit is good for me. |
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| Christian Science | Shit is only in your imagination. |
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| Seventh Day Adventist | No shit on Saturdays. |
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| Hedonism | There isn't anything like a good shit happening. |
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| Moonies | Only happy shit happens. |
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| Hare Krishna | Shit happens rama rama. |
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| Judaism | Why does this shit always happen to us? |
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| Davidians | Let's shoot and burn our own shit. |
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| Church of Scientology | Purge yourself of harmful shit - only $50,000 |
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| Shinto | Chop the shit. |
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| Russian Orthodox | Holy shit (no more communism!) |
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| Agnostic | Not sure about shit. |
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| Shaolin | Destroy bad shits with Kung Fu. |
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| Existentialism | What is shit, anyway? |
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| Atheism | What shit? |
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| Judaism | Why does this shit always happen to us? |
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| Presbyterian | This shit was bound to happen. |
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| Episcopalian | It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it. |
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| Methodist | It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it. |
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| Congregationalist | Shit that happens to one person is just as good shit as shit that happens to all others. |
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| Universalist | Shit that happens to one person is shit that happens to all others. |
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| Lutheran | If shit happens, don't talk about it. |
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| Fundamentalism | If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again (Amen!) |
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| Creationism | God made all shit |
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| Secular Humanism | Shit evolves |
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| Judaism | Why does this shit always happens to us? |
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| Quakers | Let us not fight over this shit. |
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| Unitarianism | Come let us reason together about this shit. |
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| Utopianism | This shit does not stink. |
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| Darwinism | This shit was once food. |
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| Nazism | Eat this shit. |
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| Capitalism | That's my shit. |
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| Communism | It's everybody's shit. |
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| Feminism | Men are shit. |
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| Chauvinism | We may be shit, but you can't live without us... |
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| Judaism | Why does this shit always happens to us? |
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| Commercialism | Let's package this shit. |
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| Impressionism | From a distance, this shit looks like a garden. |
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| Idolatry | Let's bronze this shit. |
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| Existentialism | Shit doesn't happen, shit IS. |
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| Empiricism | You stepped in shit. |
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| Hedonism | There is nothing like a good shit happening! |
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| Christian Science | When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray. |
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| Scientology | If shit happens, see "Dianetics" p.157 |
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| Jehovah's Witnesses | Knock Knock. Shit happens |
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| Judaism | Why does this shit always happens to us? |
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| Zoroastrianism | Shit happens half of the time. |
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| Practical | Deal with shit one day at a time. |
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| Satanism | SNEPPAH TIHS |
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| Santerianism | Chicken Shit |
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| Nihilism | No shit |
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| VooDoo | Sticking pins in your enemy's shit. |
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| Freudian Analysis | Sticking pins in your parent's shit. |
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| Jungian Analysis | Sticking pins in your own shit. |
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| Transactional Analysis | Deny of sticking pins in anyone's shit. |
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| Paganism | Shitting in the woods. |
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| Survivalism | Don't tread on my shit! |
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| Militianism | Shoot the shit! |
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| Judaism | Why does this shit always happens to us? |
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| Rastafarianism | This is good shit, mon! |
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