39 KiB
Chat with Lobna
Chat with Lobna
Amr Gharbeia 05:34
Hi
Lobna Darwish 05:34
hi
Amr Gharbeia 05:35
إزيك؟
Lobna Darwish 05:35
i'm good
Amr Gharbeia 05:35
حلو
Lobna Darwish 05:35
you?
Amr Gharbeia 05:36
لسة صاحي
Lobna Darwish 05:36
saba7 el kheir
was trying to write about Hamed and Safi 05:37
Amr Gharbeia 05:38
حلو
Amr Gharbeia 05:47
بوسة
Lobna Darwish 05:48
بوسة
remebering funny stuff from my childhood 05:48
Amr Gharbeia 05:48
باحبك يا لبنى 05:49
Lobna Darwish 05:49
و انا
Amr Gharbeia 05:57
قلبي 05:59
Lobna Darwish 06:01
i can't stop laughing
google voice wrote the trnascript of a voice mail by a greek friend 06:02
to me 06:02
"Then in March I will be free to penetrate into the streets with
my muscular form wreak havoc on growing up in this revolution of the
sensual." 06:02
Amr Gharbeia 06:04
Is this what he said?
Lobna Darwish 06:04
no
some words are right but he has a heavy accent 06:04
Amr Gharbeia 06:04
Heheh
Lobna Darwish 06:05
but actually this message is perfect to describe him
Amr Gharbeia 06:05
انت بتسحريني لما بتضحكي
Lobna Darwish 06:05
انا مسخسخة اصلا
Amr Gharbeia 06:06
حبيبي
Lobna Darwish 06:07
بوسة
Amr Gharbeia 06:07
آه
هاها. أنا باتفرج على صور المظاهرات علشان أشوف أصحابي 06:08
Lobna Darwish 06:09
هاها اه ماهي احسن فرصة علشان تشوف الناس
Amr Gharbeia 06:09
آه
Lobna Darwish 06:11
it's really funnt because this message is pretty close to who he is fe3lan
Amr Gharbeia 06:11
هيهي
Lobna Darwish 06:12
i can't stop laughing
Amr Gharbeia 06:12
رقيعة انت، زي ماما
Lobna Darwish 06:12
i was told before that i should never worry, i'm not like anybody's mother 06:13
Amr Gharbeia 06:13
You laugh like your lover's mother
Lobna Darwish 06:14
that's worrying
Lobna Darwish 06:19
i can't beleive it "free to penetrate into the streets with my muscular form wreak havoc on growing up in this revolution of the sensual"
Amr Gharbeia 06:19
Hahaha
Very funny indeed 06:19
You should tweet this one 06:20
Lobna Darwish 06:20
funny enough part of the issue is that i know this guy wants to fuck me when he comes to penetrate the streets
i did 06:20
Amr Gharbeia 06:20
مش فاهم
هو عاوز ينيكك؟ في الشارع؟ 06:20
مش في الشاااااررررررع 06:20
Lobna Darwish 06:21
no when he's talking of the street he's referring to the socar grant riots in the next weeks and he's coming, and i know he wants to fuck me while he's here
Amr Gharbeia 06:21
He is coming to Cali, oh
Lobna Darwish 06:22
yes
Amr Gharbeia 06:22
Do you want to fuck him?
Lobna Darwish 06:22
i like him and it was fun fucking him last time
Amr Gharbeia 06:23
Hehe, so there was a last time. When was that?
Lobna Darwish 06:23
oh long ago, when the greeks and the zapatistas were both here
Amr Gharbeia 06:23
You never told me about this one
You fuck a lot 06:23
Lobna Darwish 06:24
i think i did tell you
Amr Gharbeia 06:24
No
Lobna Darwish 06:24
not "a lot"
Amr Gharbeia 06:24
How many people did you fuck since last summer?
Lobna Darwish 06:25
ummm
not a lot 06:25
Amr Gharbeia 06:25
How many?
Lobna Darwish 06:26
7
i can't remember one and it's embarassing 06:26
Amr Gharbeia 06:26
So it is a lot
Lobna Darwish 06:26
no
Amr Gharbeia 06:26
If you cannot remember, then it is a lot dear
Lobna Darwish 06:26
a lot when it's 200+
Amr Gharbeia 06:26
Haha
Lobna Darwish 06:27
haha Louis salma's bf slept with 300+ this is a lot!!
Amr Gharbeia 06:27
How many times did you fuck the 7 people?
He counts them? 06:27
Lobna Darwish 06:27
i don't know
Amr Gharbeia 06:27
So it is a lot
Lobna Darwish 06:28
14 or soemthing
not a big deal khales 06:28
Amr Gharbeia 06:28
Lobna Darwish 06:28
oh no they are 8
Amr Gharbeia 06:28
Name them
Lobna Darwish 06:28
why?
Amr Gharbeia 06:28
Just to see if you can remember. You told me about half of those anyway
Lobna Darwish 06:29
i wrote them on a paper to remeber
Amr Gharbeia 06:29
So, name them
Lobna Darwish 06:29
i don't knoiw who you slept with so you shouldn't know who i slept with
Amr Gharbeia 06:30
You know
Lobna Darwish 06:30
no
Amr Gharbeia 06:30
I told you right then
Lobna Darwish 06:30
no
Amr Gharbeia 06:30
I did
Lobna Darwish 06:30
no you didn't
Amr Gharbeia 06:30
Yes, I did
Lobna Darwish 06:31
you lately even said that you don't talk of your lovers just like you wouldn't talk about me with you next ones
Amr Gharbeia 06:31
I do not talk about the bad things. I try to avoid that, yes
Lobna Darwish 06:32
whatever so it's private
Amr Gharbeia 06:32
but here, you know how many people I slept with since summer. I told you every time (which was one time)
Lobna Darwish 06:32
you made me tell you before how i fucked each of the people i slept with
actually it's 9not 8 06:33
Amr Gharbeia 06:33
I did not make you tell me Lobna. I asked you to tell me
Lobna Darwish 06:33
no difference
if you think it's private you shouldn;t ask 06:34
and if you think it's not you have told 06:34
Amr Gharbeia 06:34
I do not think it is private. You want me to say it is private when I do not want to
Lobna Darwish 06:34
you never shared any info
Amr Gharbeia 06:34
Why are you arguing with me about it? I was smiling and talking to you
Lobna Darwish 06:35
me too i was smiling and talking
Amr Gharbeia 06:35
So why this now?
Lobna Darwish 06:35
then i remembered how every thing is sacred and private but my life
Amr Gharbeia 06:35
You remembered something that is not true
Lobna Darwish 06:35
no
Amr Gharbeia 06:36
Yes
Lobna Darwish 06:36
whatever
you just did like Omar exactly. i'm not angry by the way 06:37
Amr Gharbeia 06:38
I thought whatever is your way to end the conversation, or does it mean that I stop and you carry on complaining about your imagination?
Lobna Darwish 06:39
by the way last year when we were at Laila's you left you phone open - i suppose intentionally- on the sms where randa was telling you that you should leave me after you asked her her opinion
whatever 06:39
i don't care anymore 06:39
Amr Gharbeia 06:40
You suppose a lot of things, Lobna
If you do not care, then you do not care 06:40
Lobna Darwish 06:40
you both did the same action belzabt. sure it's not your mistake
i do not do not care about you. but i don't worry myself anymore with fighting to fix things, i'll just treat you like you treat me 06:41
you treat me just like another one and talk with your lover about me, so let it be 06:41
Amr Gharbeia 06:41
You are treating me the way you imagine I am treating you, but that's up to you. I cannot fix this
Lobna Darwish 06:42
no it'snot how i "imagine"
Amr Gharbeia 06:42
So do whatever you like doing. I have no control over this
Yes, Lobna. It is how you imagine it 06:42
Lobna Darwish 06:42
no
it's what i saw, read, and heard 06:42
that easy 06:42
i'll never get myself to talk about you that way with anybody though 06:43
Amr Gharbeia 06:44
You know what really hurts, dear? It really hurts when I resist talking about you (especially you) while you are certain for some reason that I do this
Lobna Darwish 06:45
oh no don't resist talking about me
you knew i only objected of yout aking about me with randa and you already did to the point of asking her if ypu should leave me 06:45
Amr Gharbeia 06:46
I need to talk about it with someone, and the only solution I reached is seeing a doctor, because then you cannot say anything about privacy. I said this yesterday. I need to see a doctor
Lobna Darwish 06:46
by the way this message took place while we were sleeping next to each other and you were saying and you saying that you can't touch me because you're sick
Amr Gharbeia 06:46
Yes, on the week you unintentionally put me under massive pressure
You remember the details of this week/ 06:46
? 06:46
Lobna Darwish 06:46
i don't have a problem of you talking to anybody
Amr Gharbeia 06:46
You do Lobna
Lobna Darwish 06:47
i don't
Amr Gharbeia 06:47
You will feel very violated, you will fell this is not a relationship because we do not keep each other's secrets, and you will end up saying you will not accept this and leave
Lobna Darwish 06:48
i don't mind and i give you persmision
Amr Gharbeia 06:48
Sorry, but I learned that you can give me permission and then fight about doing what you told me it is alright
Lobna Darwish 06:48
i tolf before that i only didn't want you to go talk to randa and in the same week you went and talked to her, which happened to be the week of me moving preganant from claremont to davis
it never happened 06:48
Amr Gharbeia 06:49
It happened Lobna
Lobna Darwish 06:49
no
Amr Gharbeia 06:49
Yes
Lobna Darwish 06:49
i only objected of ypu telling randa and you already did many times, so not problems including here, she's your lover anyway
Amr Gharbeia 06:50
Don't tell me who is my lover and who isn't. This I know better than you
Lobna Darwish 06:50
yes
Amr Gharbeia 06:51
Then don't tell me. Get this information from me. Otherwise you'd be imagining things
Lobna Darwish 06:51
i can have my view but it's your call
Amr Gharbeia 06:52
My call? You have your views and you will not discuss them, so they cannot be challenged, and then you say it is my call. This is a complete lose situation
Lobna Darwish 06:52
i don't have a problem discusing anything
Amr Gharbeia 06:53
In theory, yes, but in practice you walk out of a dicussion when it reaches a point of checking facts to your beliefs
Lobna Darwish 06:54
"beliefs" wow
Amr Gharbeia 06:54
So in practice, there is no way to change your mind in anyway Lobna. This happens consistently
Yes, beliefs, because some of them are twisted facts, and some of them have nothing to do with reality 06:56
Lobna Darwish 06:57
none of the facts didn't happen, my interpretation or yours this is something else
Amr Gharbeia 06:58
There are so much you believe in that did not happen Lobna, and more that is completely out of context. It is still also that even if we agree about the facts, we will not discuss its interpretation because it hurts you too much and you'd rather walk out than give us a chance to clear things
Lobna Darwish 07:00
no the interpreatations are each one's work. you do not have the righ to tell me how to read your actions
and the facts are not wrong 07:00
Amr Gharbeia 07:00
The facts are wrong. Because you 'know' things when you were not even there
Lobna Darwish 07:01
oh everything i know is based on what i saw, heard or you told me
Amr Gharbeia 07:01
Not true
Lobna Darwish 07:01
true
Amr Gharbeia 07:01
Not true. Sorry
Lobna Darwish 07:01
ok
Amr Gharbeia 07:02
OK
Lobna Darwish 07:02
feel free to talk to anybody you want to
Amr Gharbeia 07:02
Thanks. You too
Lobna Darwish 07:02
i know
Amr Gharbeia 07:02
Good
Lobna Darwish 07:03
you know amr, the problem between us is very simple
Amr Gharbeia 07:04
What do you think is the problem between us?
Lobna Darwish 07:05
i put all my weight into this relationship very early, didn't give it the time to evolve naturally so we both can appreciate each other.
i always tried too much and gave too much 07:05
Amr Gharbeia 07:06
Tried what and gave what?
Lobna Darwish 07:06
tried everything and gave everything i had amr
i love you 07:06
Amr Gharbeia 07:07
I love you too Lobna, but what did you try? What did you give?
Lobna Darwish 07:07
i gave everything amr
Amr Gharbeia 07:07
What?
Lobna Darwish 07:07
anyway this is past
Amr Gharbeia 07:07
What exactly?
Amr Gharbeia 07:15
You seem to be gone. Anyway, I never deny you put a lot of energy, but I do not know exactly what you were trying, and how exactly you gave things that allows this to grow and continue
I love you 07:15
07:16Lobna
the im thing isn't working
i'm tired amr
i just take what you give and give accordingly
07:27Lobna
the im thing isn't working
i'm tired amr
i just take what you give and give accordingly
14:19Me
لبنى
16:03Lobna
hi amr
16:19Me
Hello Lobna
16:20Lobna
hi
16:40Lobna
hello
16:43Me
Hi
16:44Lobna
how are you?
16:44Me
Good rest?
16:44Lobna
no.
16:44Me
I am alright. Looking forward to the long weekend
Why not?
16:44Lobna
bad night
good, have fun with your parents
16:44Me
Why bad?
16:45Lobna
dreams and uneasiness
16:46Me
معلش
16:47Lobna
you have fun tonight
16:47Me
How?
16:48Lobna
with your parents
16:48Me
They are coming tomorrow dear
16:51Lobna
ok
16:53Me
:):)
16:54Lobna
while your parents are over, let's try to seperate you an i
you'll have friends and family around and it will help
16:56Me
What do you mean by separate?
16:56Lobna
take time off preparing for an off 3ala toul
16:58Me
I thought we are off على طول; already.
You said we have not been together for months now
16:58Lobna
ok, so let's do it seriously
16:59Me
Do you mean you have not been doing it seriously before?
16:59Lobna
no
stop the hassle amr, either we do it together or i do it alone. i cna't spend
another night like this
17:00Me
This is why we have been suffering. I took you seeriously each time, and
then find
out we are breaking up after breaking up.
17:01Lobna
ok
17:01Me
Lobna. This is a very important thing. You have not been serious about
breaking up
all these times, and it has caused us a lot of problems. I did not know
you were not
serious. I always took your words seriously
17:01Lobna
good
i'm off this relationship amr, decide what you want to do
17:04Lobna
i can't spend another night dreaming of your lover. just can't
you can decide to help or not. both cases i made myy decision
17:05Me
To me, you have been off this relationship many times before. It is sad to
see all
this confusion created because you were not serious about staying or
leaving, and I
think it has caused much harm. I would like to have a break in which you
really
think if you want to work on a relationship with me or not, and let us
have a good,
serious face to face discussion about it, clear all we need to clear when
I come to
see you in September. This is the only way to carry this relationship
forward. If
you do not want to take this as a serious relationship and just want to
break it
now, and have been wasting both our time and energy for so long, then it
does not
matter if I have family and friends around or not. You are not doing this
for me.
You are doing this for yourself
17:10Lobna
i'm doing it for both of us, and no i can't deal with waiting anymore and
i'm sorry
i can't host you in september. I was always serious aboyt how i feel and
think. and
it matters gedan if you company around or not
17:10Me
No you are not doing it for the both of us. You are doing this for
yourself, so deal
with it on this basis
17:11Lobna
i know why i'm doing it, and you're free to see it otherwise
17:13Me
I am a grownup person. I will break this relationship when I see it is
costing me
more than it is going to benefit me. You do not need to worry about making
this
decision for me. You are an equal partner, not a parent, so act on this
basis and do
what is good for you. If it is good for you to leave, leave dear. I will
be happy to
see you better
17:14Lobna
ok. i'm leaving
17:15Me
OK Lobna. I hope you are serious this time and I hope you are making the
right
decision for yourself
17:15Lobna
please feel free to share whatever you want with your family and frinds,
but do not
corss my privacy line under any circumstances and communicate with my
family or
friends
family or friends
17:17Me
I have built a relationship with some people through knowing you. I will
not break
this because you do not want to be with me
17:18Lobna
keep your relationship with these people as you want, but not about me
17:18Me
I will get going now, dear. Love you as ever :)
Lobna
do not do that
Lobna Darwish 19:26
if you can let me know before tomorrow about the warts thing it would be great. want to see a doctor tomorrow
Amr Gharbeia 19:27
Not possible
Lobna Darwish 19:27
when is it possible so i can schedule my appointment?
Amr Gharbeia 19:28
You do not need to wait for me. Go ahead
Lobna Darwish 19:28
no i want to know what i'm asking my doctor about
Amr Gharbeia 19:28
Genital warts
Lobna Darwish 19:28
amr please give me details. i have no money to run 10 tests
it costs a fortune for me 19:28
Amr Gharbeia 19:29
Find out first about the tests you made, let me know of their result, find out how many tests you will need to make anyway. These are all things you can do now
Lobna Darwish 19:29
no
Amr Gharbeia 19:30
That's your choice then Lobna
Lobna Darwish 19:30
i don't have the fancy money to go chat with my doctor who will ask em to redo the tests no
if you do not want to give me the info just say it 19:30
ut costs me $100 just to see a doctor 19:30
Amr Gharbeia 19:31
You need to pick up your test results anyway
You have done the tests. Go get them 19:31
Lobna Darwish 19:31
do not tell me what to do, just say if you're willing to give me the info
Amr Gharbeia 19:31
I am willing of course. You asked me tomorrow. I said not possible
Lobna Darwish 19:32
when is it possible?
Amr Gharbeia 19:32
I am asked to return after the wounds heal
Lobna Darwish 19:32
so when do you expect it to heal?
Amr Gharbeia 19:33
Now it is not fair you keep asking for this while I do not know what STD you have too
Lobna Darwish 19:33
ok amr
Amr Gharbeia 19:33
So go pick up this test result and let me know please
Lobna Darwish 19:33
if you don't want just say it
i'll spend more 400 hundred dollars to get over sex with you 19:33
thanks amr 19:33
Amr Gharbeia 19:33
تاني؟ لو سمحت ما تكرريش كلام أنا رديت عليه
Lobna Darwish 19:33
mesh far2a i already owe the bank a lot
salam 19:33
Amr Gharbeia 19:33
Please Lobna tell me when you have gotten the test results
Lobna Darwish 19:34
no just like you did. i won't
Amr Gharbeia 19:34
I did. Don't be silly
I did back in April 2008 19:34
Lobna Darwish 19:34
oh yes and then went to fuck your lover not thinking about telling me aslan
anyway 19:34
Amr Gharbeia 19:35
And I did STDs and gave you the result as well
Lobna Darwish 19:35
jsut 500$ more will make it all end
ok 19:35
Amr Gharbeia 19:35
So now you need to tell me the result please
I too need to know 19:35
Lobna Darwish 19:35
mesh far2a 3000 men 3500 practilly
i wont 19:35
Amr Gharbeia 19:35
Your choice
Lobna Darwish 19:35
will tell salma though if you want to ask her later
amybe i should email randa too 19:36
Amr Gharbeia 19:36
Lobna Darwish 19:36
don't worry i can get her email
Amr Gharbeia 19:36
And tell Mama too
And عبد الفتاح مراد 19:36
Lobna Darwish 19:37
yuot mother?
huh? 19:37
i'll tell her because you fucked without protection not for socialization 19:37
Amr Gharbeia 19:38
Yes, warn them all of the disease you know I have but won't tell me
Go 19:38
Lobna Darwish 19:38
why? are you planning to fuck mourad or your mother?
Amr Gharbeia 19:38
Lobna. You are not making much sense now, so please do whatever you feel like doing dear
Bye 19:38
Lobna Darwish 19:38
i will do whatever and i make all sense
bye 19:38
i have a schedueled appointment on the 14th of july, if you have any info and want to share them by then , please do 19:41
Amr Gharbeia 19:42
It is rude to ask for this while you have not sent me the test results that are already out
So please do this first 19:42
Lobna Darwish 19:42
i said if you want
Amr Gharbeia 19:42
You mean you don't want
OK 19:42
Lobna Darwish 19:42
if i knew any detials after the 14th i'll mail you a copy
Amr Gharbeia 19:43
OK
Lobna Darwish 19:44
haha the doctor questionnaire asks me if i feel safe in the relationship
anyway 19:44
salam, when i get the result- by the 21st i think- i'll mail you a copy 19:44
if you gave a fuck you would have tested and i would have got an HPV vaccine, but who cares? 19:46
anyway 19:46
salam 19:46
Amr Gharbeia 20:15
Sorry, I was away. I'd like to know about the only sure thing in this conversation: that STD that you have. NHS here takes quite a while to make doctor appointments, but I never said I will not tell you when I know. I will know when I get an appointment after the wounds here. This will not be before three weeks I guess
I am assuming of course that you have an STD, according to the lab 20:16
مع السلامة يا لبنى 20:19
Lobna Darwish 20:21
i do which is probably the warts, but i know the docotr will ask me to have another test -like he did before- and i can't afford 500$ worth of tests
and i told you that i'll send you a copu o the reuslts 20:21
Amr Gharbeia 20:22
You have a result there already Lobna waiting for you. Did they do any other thing than a blood sample?
Lobna Darwish 20:23
yes, a vaginal swab
and the results aren't avaiable online on the website and i know he wil ask me to take new ones 20:23
Amr Gharbeia 20:23
Without telling you the result of this one?
Lobna Darwish 20:24
yes because it's more than 3 months ago
Amr Gharbeia 20:24
Go find out Lobna
Lobna Darwish 20:24
do not tell me what to do
Amr Gharbeia 20:25
I am not giving orders obviously
Lobna Darwish 20:25
good
Amr Gharbeia 20:25
So go find out. that's the easiest and quickest way to get to the bottom of this, and you have been avoiding it for 3 months as you say
Lobna Darwish 20:26
i will go see a doctor for the whole thing and pay the 500 dollars and get over this whole period of my life
and it's good to end it that way 20:26
haha sex with you has been very expensive 20:26
Amr Gharbeia 20:26
مش ممكن ال بتعمليه و مش ممكن الأسلوب دا
Lobna Darwish 20:27
i'm doing nothing
Amr Gharbeia 20:27
You are making it more complex for everybody. Just go
Lobna Darwish 20:27
none of your business. and there is no "everybody" there is just me
Amr Gharbeia 20:28
مش ممكن ال بتعمليه دا
براحتك يا لبنى 20:28
Lobna Darwish 20:28
yes
Amr Gharbeia 20:28
كويس. المهم تبقي مبسوطة
Lobna Darwish 20:29
none of your business
Amr Gharbeia 20:29
أو بتعملي كدا علشان تأذي نفسك، برضه حياتك يا لبنى
هابقى أعرفك الأخبار لما أعرفها. سلام 20:29
Lobna Darwish 20:29
do not even bother
let go i'll go spend the fuckin money and get over all that shit 20:30
salam 20:30
Amr Gharbeia 20:31
Hang on
Lobna Darwish 20:31
what?
Amr Gharbeia 20:31
You knew I had gential warts since before we slept together. What is your problem now?
Lobna Darwish 20:32
i don't have any problem, did i complain about anything?
all this from start to end was my choices whith all the crap in it 20:32
Amr Gharbeia 20:33
Yes, you want to know now what kind of thing it is. If you have anything from me, you'd get it from the year before last year
From the red flat 20:33
Lobna Darwish 20:33
the two pregnancies were my fault, the std is my fault, you lying and deceiving me and taking you back was my fault
Amr Gharbeia 20:33
So why now is this suddenly a big thing?
Lobna Darwish 20:33
i don't want to know anymore
yes the fuckin red fat 20:33
it's not, never mind. i don't even care. i just want to end this horrible story 20:34
Amr Gharbeia 20:35
So, what is the problem? What does this have to do with the two pregnencies and the other stuff?
Seriously, Lobna 20:35
You knew I had genital warts before we first hugged at the airport 20:35
Lobna Darwish 20:35
nothing, just all the result of my bad judgment
Amr Gharbeia 20:36
What bad judgement?
Lobna Darwish 20:36
everything about us was a result of my bad judgment
Amr Gharbeia 20:37
You new, you chose, I guess you made STD tests the year before and had no genital warts, you made this test now, which result you do not know, and you still insist I gave you genital warts becuase of something that has to do with the person whom you call my 'lover'.
What does genital warts have to do with any of this? 20:37
Lobna Darwish 20:38
i didn't test for warts last eyar, i'm not rich enough to check the everything box
i didn't say any of this 20:38
Amr Gharbeia 20:38
OK. You knew I had this and you saw it so early. Why is this now a problem Lobna
Lobna Darwish 20:40
it doesn't matter but just as a reminfer you said you tested and was clear and that these were زوايد جلدية
anyway it doesn't matter, i should get over this dark part of my life 20:40
Amr Gharbeia 20:43
I said genital warts the day we met at Le Chantilly. I spent weeks afterwards feeling guilty about it and trying not to sleep with you, then trying not to sleep with you without a condom, especially that you had ignored me asking for three months before that you take the pill because you did not feel like it, and you insisted that we sleep together (and I wanted you too) and you insisted that we do it without a condom, probably because you wanted to be fully with me, and I resisted, and it made you upset, and you cried that I resisted (I guess you felt rejected)
Lobna Darwish 20:44
me taking a pill or not is not a request posibility, none of your business
Amr Gharbeia 20:44
How come all this disappears and suddenly I gave you the warts
Answer the rest too 20:44
Lobna Darwish 20:44
and yes i said it was my bad jdgment, i should have said no regradless of anything
i learned my lesson though, it cost me a lot 20:45
Amr Gharbeia 20:45
There was no offers Lobna to say no to. I was the one ashamed about it
I was the one not offering 20:45
Lobna Darwish 20:45
yes my bad judgment
the whole relationship was based on my bad judgment 20:45
Amr Gharbeia 20:45
No Lobna, not just a judgment. You said I gave it to you
Lobna Darwish 20:46
what? i didn't say so
i don't know my results yet, but i'm, sure you gave me soemthing 20:46
other than an abortion and a miscarriage 20:46
Amr Gharbeia 20:48
Just like you said I did not care and made you pregnant. I avoided sleeping with you for weeks at all, then after that avoided without protection, and before all that asked and asked and asked you take the pill so we do not get where we got. How could you say I don't give a shit and did this to you?
And still I learned my lesson and would not sleep with you again without the pill or protection the following summer, and you got pregnant after all, something I still do not understand, but I also do not understand how you say I do not give a shit 20:49
Lobna Darwish 20:49
want to take pills take them, don't ask anybody else to do it. and yes again my bad judgment and do not worry you didn't have to bear any of the consequences of my bad judment
oh yes you don't understand because it doesn't exist for yoy aslan 20:50
just another man 20:50
i was a fool and it payed for it, and still do 20:51
Amr Gharbeia 20:51
No Lonba, I bore those consequences and it affected the relationship I want the most. You went over the top with making you pregnant twice and blaming me about and days and weeks of anger and sadness about me doing this to you, and you called me so many things that I am not
Lobna Darwish 20:51
so no big deal
Amr Gharbeia 20:51
Just like you do now
Lobna Darwish 20:51
fuck the so called relationship, it was in itself a bad judgment
don't worry i'm sure you can find someone who'd tell you that you're none of these names you say i called you, go to them 20:52
Amr Gharbeia 20:53
And when you arrived the second time we had slept together only once, with protection, and you panicked about being pregnant in a week that you physically cannot get pregnant in when we were at Salma's, and then you say I do not give a fuck about the miscarriage when I had a totally unreal experience and when I knew I had refused (again, refused) to sleep with you without protection once you stopped taking the pill
How come after all this, I am just a man who does not give a fuck? 20:54
Lobna Darwish 20:54
oh sorry for forcing you to sleep with me
Amr Gharbeia 20:54
And look at how you are responding now
Lobna Darwish 20:54
go fuck yourself amr, you're full of shit
Amr Gharbeia 20:54
I might do this as well. Goodbye
Lobna Darwish 20:55
good
salam 20:55
Lobna Darwish 21:05
i hate you and i'll never forgive myself for messing my life that way
Amr Gharbeia 21:13
And I will always love you Lobna. You hurt me a lot, and I hurt you too, but that's beside the point. You hurt yourself most of all. I wish I could take away all this pain from you and I tried for a while, but only you can do this habibi
Lobna Darwish 21:14
don't even cal me that
Amr Gharbeia 21:15
Even if I don't Lobna, you know and I know this is what I feel and call you in my head
Lobna Darwish 21:15
and no you don't LOVE me, you didn't. you liked me at some point yes. probably you don't even love anybody
i hate that i was fucked three years, while your life was under your tips if i didn't exist 21:16
i fucked myself just like any oppressed woman does 21:16
i let myself be fucked with for fuckin three years 21:16
and i will always hate you for it 21:16
Amr Gharbeia 21:17
You will hate me for letting yourself get fucked with? and who fucked your life Lobna? How?
Lobna Darwish 21:18
i did fuck my life but letting you fuck with me. and i hate you because you showed me how weak i am and how i can let myself be fucked with
i hate you ebcause you didn't deserve any bit of it 21:18
i hate you because i knew fopr a long time that you're just like everybody and i tricked myself 21:18
Amr Gharbeia 21:19
Like everybody إزاي Lobna?
Lobna Darwish 21:19
i hate you because you've been an asshole to me for most of these three years. while ypur life , your plans, your lovers are still there not effected
just like them, another man acting like a well socialized one, a smarter one maybe, different now 21:20
Amr Gharbeia 21:20
How do you say my life is not affected? What other plans did I have but you? And who are those lovers you are talking about?
Lobna Darwish 21:21
come on, none in your life changed, you were waiting for the AI job and that what made you move, three yeas and you didn't leave your home for me. even when i was traveling for you, you barely could meet me
fuck my bad judgment 21:21
Amr Gharbeia 21:26
What possibilities where there to leave my home for you? There was one possibility after we knew you were pregnant in 2008, but you told me not to come. What was the main thing about this AI job if not a possibility that I get a place of my own in a city where you can study and live with me? How were you travelling for me the second summer when you had told me before that we are not together and came to fuck me just one last time, and that one last time turned into the most difficult week ever? How come you came for me when you had to leave the country because your visa expired? How can you explain all this and still say I did nothing and you did everything for me?
Lobna Darwish 21:27
are you stupid?
Amr Gharbeia 21:27
No, I am not stupid
Lobna Darwish 21:28
i could have gone anywhere , what else did i have in cairo but you?
Amr Gharbeia 21:28
Then why tell me we are not together and that you just want to fuck me one last time?
Lobna Darwish 21:28
and you know pretty well that the AI job had nothignto do with me, that was your plan you don't want to live in egypt and i was lcear that i don't want to leave anywhere else
stop pretending it doesn't count anymore 21:28
nothing amr, please stay as egocentric as you are 21:29
good luck with it 21:29
Amr Gharbeia 21:30
What are you talking about Lobna? You are now telling me I should not take your word and should have treated you like a kid
Why would you say things and do other things? 21:30
Lobna Darwish 21:30
i'mnot saying that, and it's none of your business
Amr Gharbeia 21:31
What kind of attitude is this? Of course it is my business. You are saying things that make no sense and it is us you are talking about
Why would you leave me, and then leave me, and then leave me and then leave me, but actually you have not left me? 21:32
Lobna Darwish 21:32
there is no us, there was never one
no i left you 21:32
left nothing behind though 21:33
Amr Gharbeia 21:33
So if you have left me then, why do you call me stupid now?
And why you told me earlier today that this is the first real time you are leaving me for good? 21:33
And why should I believe you now when you have always said the same thing? 21:33
Lobna Darwish 21:33
i take it back, you're smart, but just another man, a smart one.
try me 21:34
Amr Gharbeia 21:34
And how can I trust you when you do not mean what you say?
And how do you explain any of this to yourself 21:34
Lobna Darwish 21:34
you don't need to trust me
none of your business 21:34
Amr Gharbeia 21:35
If I do not need to trust you, then how am I supposed to have treated you like an adult and not manage you, and if I cannot trust you and you do not want me to trust you, then why get upset when I do manage the situation
How do you explain any of this to yourself? 21:35
Lobna Darwish 21:35
i mean now you don't need to trust me
none of your business how i explain it 21:36
Amr Gharbeia 21:36
Why with all these valid questions all I get from you in return is verbal abuse?
Lobna Darwish 21:36
haha ok i verbally abuse you
leave me then 21:36
Amr Gharbeia 21:37
I do ignore them and leave you when I feel I need to. It is called dealing with my anger. Why do you turn to sarcasm each time I am not offended by your verbal abuse?
Lobna Darwish 21:39
i do enjoy sarcasm, and i think you're full of shit, it's fun to make fun of that
Amr Gharbeia 21:39
Do you feel better now?
Lobna Darwish 21:39
what?
Amr Gharbeia 21:40
صوتي واطي؟ ما سمعتيش؟
I asked if you feel better now 21:40
Lobna Darwish 21:40
better than what?
Amr Gharbeia 21:40
Than before the name calling Lobna
Lobna Darwish 21:41
no, and it's not to make me feel better
Amr Gharbeia 21:41
Yes, it has no purpose. It does not hurt me and it will never make you feel better
It is one of those things that do no good 21:42
Lobna Darwish 21:42
yes i know it won't hurt you, nothing can hurt you aslan
Amr Gharbeia 21:43
The real things hurt me. Name calling doesn't
Lobna Darwish 21:43
nothing hurt you amr, in order to be hurt you need either to care of to be physically hurt. and lucky you none apply
Amr Gharbeia 21:46
You have actually hurt me on the day in that difficult week when you arrived in Egypt to tell me how horrible I am, and say that we are over and you will walk out of this door to kill yourself. I prevented you from leaving and you ended up beating me with anything you could get your hands on. I was physically hurt that day. The you-don't-care thing is old and repeated. Try telling that to anyone who knows us. Check your feelings with reality.
Lobna Darwish 21:47
good. at least i hurt you back a little. good to know, so next time you remember it when you're witha woman
Lobna Darwish 22:09
ok
Amr Gharbeia 22:09
I am still writing a response to this
Lobna Darwish 22:10
i have a dotocr appointment in few minutes
hurry up if you want 22:10
Amr Gharbeia 22:10
I am hurrying
Remember what? Let me remind you of the context of why you ended up at my home and attempt to hurt me: you decided this relationship is not working and you wanted out. Your visa expired and you had to come to Egypt. You asked me to find a flat and help you settle in Cairo and find you a job because you were never going to get the visa and money to study again (exaggeration and unnecessary stress). I said it is a bad idea to come to find a flat when you have no money to support yourself the entire summer. You said OK, and then told me if I will just sleep with you one last time for goodbye, and asked me to pick you up from the airport, and asked me to decide because your mother and Reda wanted to pick you up as well and you refused that we all see you there. I ended up picking you up. You had started taken the pill this time (although we are not together like you said). You stayed one night at my parent's, something that never happens with anyone else, but you still accept to treat them from a distance, and I stored your bags and helped you find a hotel. You did not want to spend rare money on hotel, so you checked out of Lotus and went to Malek and Sahar, all the time complaining inthe street about how horrible Cairo is and how much you do not enjoy it and how much stressed it made you in 24 hours. I left you with Malek and Sahar after one in the morning, and at two you wanted me to leave bed to come meet you now, and said how much I do not care. I said you can come if you want but i am not going down at this hour. You cut your hair and had a horrible night, came to see me at six in the morning. You slept in my bed. I stayed next to you while asleep, kept you company while awake, sat next to you while you wrote the university applications, fixed you something to eat, all none stop from 6 in the morning to 7:30 in the evening. I then looked at my computer while you were looking at yours, then you left in anger because I ignore you and do not care about you. I began to feel sick that day. The following day you came to take your luggage and explained you do not want the luggage to cause any problems at my family's home, especially that you were going to kill yourself anyway. We had that scene where you ended up trying to hit me with anything you tried to get your hands on, and then I calmed you down and took you, with the luggage, while feverish, and put you at Laila's home in Alexandria. I was too sick to eat with you at Mohamed Ahmed, never mind return at the same night and went to sleep in the other room. You stripped me naked while even more hot that 38 degrees and wanted to sleep with me to feel good about yourself. You wanted the same thing again when you wanted to throw yourself from Lotus Hotel 7th floor and I took you to sleep at Mona's. I went home the following day to Cairo. You followed me a couple of days later, stayed with Mona, then left her place not telling any one where you are going. You checked in Lotus Hotel, called me to say you were going to kill yourself and said bye-bye. I kept you on the phone for 90 minutes using every trick I know and told Ahmad, Jane, Youssri, and Mona to head downtown and wait there until I find out which hotel you were going to kill yourself from. I came later with Mostafa and met you in Estoril. You were making conversation with them all and Ahmad Naje who was there and sat a little with Mostafa and started treatement with him the following weeks and felt better initially, but as we were leaving the restuarant you said that I did something wrong and put you in an embarrassing situation. I said I'd do this to anyone, so you told me to go to those anyones and leave you alone. We went to stay at Mona's and as I was breaking down you asked me to fuck you because you were trying to feel better about yourself. This is the week that you think I was good in and took good care of you. This is OK by your standards, but even then you often, like now, say that I never cared about you, and I am just like all them men
Amr Gharbeia 22:20
Goodnight Lobna. Let me know please what the doctor says