memex/areas/people/لبنى درويش/2010-07-19-Chat-with-Lobna.org

* Chat with Lobna

:PROPERTIES:
:ID: 53856fc8-16f3-48c3-b416-b702d2869dbb
:CREATED: [2010-07-19 05:48:42]
:CATEGORY: Lobna
:IMPORTED: [2023-02-08 19:22:45-0500]
:MODIFIED: [2011-10-09 12:13:59]
:END:


Chat with Lobna

Amr Gharbeia 05:34

Hi

Lobna Darwish 05:34

hi

Amr Gharbeia 05:35

إزيك؟

Lobna Darwish 05:35

i'm good

Amr Gharbeia 05:35

حلو

Lobna Darwish 05:35

you?

Amr Gharbeia 05:36

لسة صاحي

Lobna Darwish 05:36

saba7 el kheir

was trying to write about Hamed and Safi 05:37

Amr Gharbeia 05:38

حلو

Amr Gharbeia 05:47

بوسة

Lobna Darwish 05:48

بوسة

remebering funny stuff from my childhood 05:48

Amr Gharbeia 05:48

باحبك يا لبنى 05:49

Lobna Darwish 05:49

و انا

Amr Gharbeia 05:57

قلبي 05:59

Lobna Darwish 06:01

i can't stop laughing

google voice wrote the trnascript of a voice mail by a greek friend 06:02

to me 06:02

"Then in March I will be free to penetrate into the streets with

my muscular form wreak havoc on growing up in this revolution of the

sensual." 06:02

Amr Gharbeia 06:04

Is this what he said?

Lobna Darwish 06:04

no

some words are right but he has a heavy accent 06:04

Amr Gharbeia 06:04

Heheh

Lobna Darwish 06:05

but actually this message is perfect to describe him

Amr Gharbeia 06:05

انت بتسحريني لما بتضحكي

Lobna Darwish 06:05

انا مسخسخة اصلا

Amr Gharbeia 06:06

حبيبي

Lobna Darwish 06:07

بوسة

Amr Gharbeia 06:07

آه

هاها. أنا باتفرج على صور المظاهرات علشان أشوف أصحابي 06:08

Lobna Darwish 06:09

هاها اه ماهي احسن فرصة علشان تشوف الناس

Amr Gharbeia 06:09

آه

Lobna Darwish 06:11

it's really funnt because this message is pretty close to who he is fe3lan

Amr Gharbeia 06:11

هيهي

Lobna Darwish 06:12

i can't stop laughing

Amr Gharbeia 06:12

رقيعة انت، زي ماما

Lobna Darwish 06:12

i was told before that i should never worry, i'm not like anybody's mother 06:13

Amr Gharbeia 06:13

You laugh like your lover's mother

Lobna Darwish 06:14

that's worrying

Lobna Darwish 06:19

i can't beleive it "free to penetrate into the streets with my muscular form wreak havoc on growing up in this revolution of the sensual"

Amr Gharbeia 06:19

Hahaha

Very funny indeed 06:19

You should tweet this one 06:20

Lobna Darwish 06:20

funny enough part of the issue is that i know this guy wants to fuck me when he comes to penetrate the streets

i did 06:20

Amr Gharbeia 06:20

مش فاهم

هو عاوز ينيكك؟ في الشارع؟ 06:20

مش في الشاااااررررررع 06:20

Lobna Darwish 06:21

no when he's talking of the street he's referring to the socar grant riots in the next weeks and he's coming, and i know he wants to fuck me while he's here

Amr Gharbeia 06:21

He is coming to Cali, oh

Lobna Darwish 06:22

yes

Amr Gharbeia 06:22

Do you want to fuck him?

Lobna Darwish 06:22

i like him and it was fun fucking him last time

Amr Gharbeia 06:23

Hehe, so there was a last time. When was that?

Lobna Darwish 06:23

oh long ago, when the greeks and the zapatistas were both here

Amr Gharbeia 06:23

You never told me about this one

You fuck a lot 06:23

Lobna Darwish 06:24

i think i did tell you

Amr Gharbeia 06:24

No

Lobna Darwish 06:24

not "a lot"

Amr Gharbeia 06:24

How many people did you fuck since last summer?

Lobna Darwish 06:25

ummm

not a lot 06:25

Amr Gharbeia 06:25

How many?

Lobna Darwish 06:26

7

i can't remember one and it's embarassing 06:26

Amr Gharbeia 06:26

So it is a lot

Lobna Darwish 06:26

no

Amr Gharbeia 06:26

If you cannot remember, then it is a lot dear

Lobna Darwish 06:26

a lot when it's 200+

Amr Gharbeia 06:26

Haha

Lobna Darwish 06:27

haha Louis salma's bf slept with 300+ this is a lot!!

Amr Gharbeia 06:27

How many times did you fuck the 7 people?

He counts them? 06:27

Lobna Darwish 06:27

i don't know

Amr Gharbeia 06:27

So it is a lot

Lobna Darwish 06:28

14 or soemthing

not a big deal khales 06:28

Amr Gharbeia 06:28

Lobna Darwish 06:28

oh no they are 8

Amr Gharbeia 06:28

Name them

Lobna Darwish 06:28

why?

Amr Gharbeia 06:28

Just to see if you can remember. You told me about half of those anyway

Lobna Darwish 06:29

i wrote them on a paper to remeber

Amr Gharbeia 06:29

So, name them

Lobna Darwish 06:29

i don't knoiw who you slept with so you shouldn't know who i slept with

Amr Gharbeia 06:30

You know

Lobna Darwish 06:30

no

Amr Gharbeia 06:30

I told you right then

Lobna Darwish 06:30

no

Amr Gharbeia 06:30

I did

Lobna Darwish 06:30

no you didn't

Amr Gharbeia 06:30

Yes, I did

Lobna Darwish 06:31

you lately even said that you don't talk of your lovers just like you wouldn't talk about me with you next ones

Amr Gharbeia 06:31

I do not talk about the bad things. I try to avoid that, yes

Lobna Darwish 06:32

whatever so it's private

Amr Gharbeia 06:32

but here, you know how many people I slept with since summer. I told you every time (which was one time)

Lobna Darwish 06:32

you made me tell you before how i fucked each of the people i slept with

actually it's 9not 8 06:33

Amr Gharbeia 06:33

I did not make you tell me Lobna. I asked you to tell me

Lobna Darwish 06:33

no difference

if you think it's private you shouldn;t ask 06:34

and if you think it's not you have told 06:34

Amr Gharbeia 06:34

I do not think it is private. You want me to say it is private when I do not want to

Lobna Darwish 06:34

you never shared any info

Amr Gharbeia 06:34

Why are you arguing with me about it? I was smiling and talking to you

Lobna Darwish 06:35

me too i was smiling and talking

Amr Gharbeia 06:35

So why this now?

Lobna Darwish 06:35

then i remembered how every thing is sacred and private but my life

Amr Gharbeia 06:35

You remembered something that is not true

Lobna Darwish 06:35

no

Amr Gharbeia 06:36

Yes

Lobna Darwish 06:36

whatever

you just did like Omar exactly. i'm not angry by the way 06:37

Amr Gharbeia 06:38

I thought whatever is your way to end the conversation, or does it mean that I stop and you carry on complaining about your imagination?

Lobna Darwish 06:39

by the way last year when we were at Laila's you left you phone open - i suppose intentionally- on the sms where randa was telling you that you should leave me after you asked her her opinion

whatever 06:39

i don't care anymore 06:39

Amr Gharbeia 06:40

You suppose a lot of things, Lobna

If you do not care, then you do not care 06:40

Lobna Darwish 06:40

you both did the same action belzabt. sure it's not your mistake

i do not do not care about you. but i don't worry myself anymore with fighting to fix things, i'll just treat you like you treat me 06:41

you treat me just like another one and talk with your lover about me, so let it be 06:41

Amr Gharbeia 06:41

You are treating me the way you imagine I am treating you, but that's up to you. I cannot fix this

Lobna Darwish 06:42

no it'snot how i "imagine"

Amr Gharbeia 06:42

So do whatever you like doing. I have no control over this

Yes, Lobna. It is how you imagine it 06:42

Lobna Darwish 06:42

no

it's what i saw, read, and heard 06:42

that easy 06:42

i'll never get myself to talk about you that way with anybody though 06:43

Amr Gharbeia 06:44

You know what really hurts, dear? It really hurts when I resist talking about you (especially you) while you are certain for some reason that I do this

Lobna Darwish 06:45

oh no don't resist talking about me

you knew i only objected of yout aking about me with randa and you already did to the point of asking her if ypu should leave me 06:45

Amr Gharbeia 06:46

I need to talk about it with someone, and the only solution I reached is seeing a doctor, because then you cannot say anything about privacy. I said this yesterday. I need to see a doctor

Lobna Darwish 06:46

by the way this message took place while we were sleeping next to each other and you were saying and you saying that you can't touch me because you're sick

Amr Gharbeia 06:46

Yes, on the week you unintentionally put me under massive pressure

You remember the details of this week/ 06:46

? 06:46

Lobna Darwish 06:46

i don't have a problem of you talking to anybody

Amr Gharbeia 06:46

You do Lobna

Lobna Darwish 06:47

i don't

Amr Gharbeia 06:47

You will feel very violated, you will fell this is not a relationship because we do not keep each other's secrets, and you will end up saying you will not accept this and leave

Lobna Darwish 06:48

i don't mind and i give you persmision

Amr Gharbeia 06:48

Sorry, but I learned that you can give me permission and then fight about doing what you told me it is alright

Lobna Darwish 06:48

i tolf before that i only didn't want you to go talk to randa and in the same week you went and talked to her, which happened to be the week of me moving preganant from claremont to davis

it never happened 06:48

Amr Gharbeia 06:49

It happened Lobna

Lobna Darwish 06:49

no

Amr Gharbeia 06:49

Yes

Lobna Darwish 06:49

i only objected of ypu telling randa and you already did many times, so not problems including here, she's your lover anyway

Amr Gharbeia 06:50

Don't tell me who is my lover and who isn't. This I know better than you

Lobna Darwish 06:50

yes

Amr Gharbeia 06:51

Then don't tell me. Get this information from me. Otherwise you'd be imagining things

Lobna Darwish 06:51

i can have my view but it's your call

Amr Gharbeia 06:52

My call? You have your views and you will not discuss them, so they cannot be challenged, and then you say it is my call. This is a complete lose situation

Lobna Darwish 06:52

i don't have a problem discusing anything

Amr Gharbeia 06:53

In theory, yes, but in practice you walk out of a dicussion when it reaches a point of checking facts to your beliefs

Lobna Darwish 06:54

"beliefs" wow

Amr Gharbeia 06:54

So in practice, there is no way to change your mind in anyway Lobna. This happens consistently

Yes, beliefs, because some of them are twisted facts, and some of them have nothing to do with reality 06:56

Lobna Darwish 06:57

none of the facts didn't happen, my interpretation or yours this is something else

Amr Gharbeia 06:58

There are so much you believe in that did not happen Lobna, and more that is completely out of context. It is still also that even if we agree about the facts, we will not discuss its interpretation because it hurts you too much and you'd rather walk out than give us a chance to clear things

Lobna Darwish 07:00

no the interpreatations are each one's work. you do not have the righ to tell me how to read your actions

and the facts are not wrong 07:00

Amr Gharbeia 07:00

The facts are wrong. Because you 'know' things when you were not even there

Lobna Darwish 07:01

oh everything i know is based on what i saw, heard or you told me

Amr Gharbeia 07:01

Not true

Lobna Darwish 07:01

true

Amr Gharbeia 07:01

Not true. Sorry

Lobna Darwish 07:01

ok

Amr Gharbeia 07:02

OK

Lobna Darwish 07:02

feel free to talk to anybody you want to

Amr Gharbeia 07:02

Thanks. You too

Lobna Darwish 07:02

i know

Amr Gharbeia 07:02

Good

Lobna Darwish 07:03

you know amr, the problem between us is very simple

Amr Gharbeia 07:04

What do you think is the problem between us?

Lobna Darwish 07:05

i put all my weight into this relationship very early, didn't give it the time to evolve naturally so we both can appreciate each other.

i always tried too much and gave too much 07:05

Amr Gharbeia 07:06

Tried what and gave what?

Lobna Darwish 07:06

tried everything and gave everything i had amr

i love you 07:06

Amr Gharbeia 07:07

I love you too Lobna, but what did you try? What did you give?

Lobna Darwish 07:07

i gave everything amr

Amr Gharbeia 07:07

What?

Lobna Darwish 07:07

anyway this is past

Amr Gharbeia 07:07

What exactly?

Amr Gharbeia 07:15

You seem to be gone. Anyway, I never deny you put a lot of energy, but I do not know exactly what you were trying, and how exactly you gave things that allows this to grow and continue

I love you 07:15

07:16Lobna

the im thing isn't working

i'm tired amr

i just take what you give and give accordingly

07:27Lobna

the im thing isn't working

i'm tired amr

i just take what you give and give accordingly

14:19Me

لبنى

16:03Lobna

hi amr

16:19Me

Hello Lobna

16:20Lobna

hi

16:40Lobna

hello

16:43Me

Hi

16:44Lobna

how are you?

16:44Me

Good rest?

16:44Lobna

no.

16:44Me

I am alright. Looking forward to the long weekend

Why not?

16:44Lobna

bad night

good, have fun with your parents

16:44Me

Why bad?

16:45Lobna

dreams and uneasiness

16:46Me

معلش

16:47Lobna

you have fun tonight

16:47Me

How?

16:48Lobna

with your parents

16:48Me

They are coming tomorrow dear

16:51Lobna

ok

16:53Me

:):)

16:54Lobna

while your parents are over, let's try to seperate you an i

you'll have friends and family around and it will help

16:56Me

What do you mean by separate?

16:56Lobna

take time off preparing for an off 3ala toul

16:58Me

I thought we are off على طول; already.

You said we have not been together for months now

16:58Lobna

ok, so let's do it seriously

16:59Me

Do you mean you have not been doing it seriously before?

16:59Lobna

no

stop the hassle amr, either we do it together or i do it alone. i cna't spend

another night like this

17:00Me

This is why we have been suffering. I took you seeriously each time, and

then find

out we are breaking up after breaking up.

17:01Lobna

ok

17:01Me

Lobna. This is a very important thing. You have not been serious about

breaking up

all these times, and it has caused us a lot of problems. I did not know

you were not

serious. I always took your words seriously

17:01Lobna

good

i'm off this relationship amr, decide what you want to do

17:04Lobna

i can't spend another night dreaming of your lover. just can't

you can decide to help or not. both cases i made myy decision

17:05Me

To me, you have been off this relationship many times before. It is sad to

see all

this confusion created because you were not serious about staying or

leaving, and I

think it has caused much harm. I would like to have a break in which you

really

think if you want to work on a relationship with me or not, and let us

have a good,

serious face to face discussion about it, clear all we need to clear when

I come to

see you in September. This is the only way to carry this relationship

forward. If

you do not want to take this as a serious relationship and just want to

break it

now, and have been wasting both our time and energy for so long, then it

does not

matter if I have family and friends around or not. You are not doing this

for me.

You are doing this for yourself

17:10Lobna

i'm doing it for both of us, and no i can't deal with waiting anymore and

i'm sorry

i can't host you in september. I was always serious aboyt how i feel and

think. and

it matters gedan if you company around or not

17:10Me

No you are not doing it for the both of us. You are doing this for

yourself, so deal

with it on this basis

17:11Lobna

i know why i'm doing it, and you're free to see it otherwise

17:13Me

I am a grownup person. I will break this relationship when I see it is

costing me

more than it is going to benefit me. You do not need to worry about making

this

decision for me. You are an equal partner, not a parent, so act on this

basis and do

what is good for you. If it is good for you to leave, leave dear. I will

be happy to

see you better

17:14Lobna

ok. i'm leaving

17:15Me

OK Lobna. I hope you are serious this time and I hope you are making the

right

decision for yourself

17:15Lobna

please feel free to share whatever you want with your family and frinds,

but do not

corss my privacy line under any circumstances and communicate with my

family or

friends

family or friends

17:17Me

I have built a relationship with some people through knowing you. I will

not break

this because you do not want to be with me

17:18Lobna

keep your relationship with these people as you want, but not about me

17:18Me

I will get going now, dear. Love you as ever :)

Lobna

do not do that

Lobna Darwish 19:26

if you can let me know before tomorrow about the warts thing it would be great. want to see a doctor tomorrow

Amr Gharbeia 19:27

Not possible

Lobna Darwish 19:27

when is it possible so i can schedule my appointment?

Amr Gharbeia 19:28

You do not need to wait for me. Go ahead

Lobna Darwish 19:28

no i want to know what i'm asking my doctor about

Amr Gharbeia 19:28

Genital warts

Lobna Darwish 19:28

amr please give me details. i have no money to run 10 tests

it costs a fortune for me 19:28

Amr Gharbeia 19:29

Find out first about the tests you made, let me know of their result, find out how many tests you will need to make anyway. These are all things you can do now

Lobna Darwish 19:29

no

Amr Gharbeia 19:30

That's your choice then Lobna

Lobna Darwish 19:30

i don't have the fancy money to go chat with my doctor who will ask em to redo the tests no

if you do not want to give me the info just say it 19:30

ut costs me $100 just to see a doctor 19:30

Amr Gharbeia 19:31

You need to pick up your test results anyway

You have done the tests. Go get them 19:31

Lobna Darwish 19:31

do not tell me what to do, just say if you're willing to give me the info

Amr Gharbeia 19:31

I am willing of course. You asked me tomorrow. I said not possible

Lobna Darwish 19:32

when is it possible?

Amr Gharbeia 19:32

I am asked to return after the wounds heal

Lobna Darwish 19:32

so when do you expect it to heal?

Amr Gharbeia 19:33

Now it is not fair you keep asking for this while I do not know what STD you have too

Lobna Darwish 19:33

ok amr

Amr Gharbeia 19:33

So go pick up this test result and let me know please

Lobna Darwish 19:33

if you don't want just say it

i'll spend more 400 hundred dollars to get over sex with you 19:33

thanks amr 19:33

Amr Gharbeia 19:33

تاني؟ لو سمحت ما تكرريش كلام أنا رديت عليه

Lobna Darwish 19:33

mesh far2a i already owe the bank a lot

salam 19:33

Amr Gharbeia 19:33

Please Lobna tell me when you have gotten the test results

Lobna Darwish 19:34

no just like you did. i won't

Amr Gharbeia 19:34

I did. Don't be silly

I did back in April 2008 19:34

Lobna Darwish 19:34

oh yes and then went to fuck your lover not thinking about telling me aslan

anyway 19:34

Amr Gharbeia 19:35

And I did STDs and gave you the result as well

Lobna Darwish 19:35

jsut 500$ more will make it all end

ok 19:35

Amr Gharbeia 19:35

So now you need to tell me the result please

I too need to know 19:35

Lobna Darwish 19:35

mesh far2a 3000 men 3500 practilly

i wont 19:35

Amr Gharbeia 19:35

Your choice

Lobna Darwish 19:35

will tell salma though if you want to ask her later

amybe i should email randa too 19:36

Amr Gharbeia 19:36

randa.elsherif@gmail.com

Lobna Darwish 19:36

don't worry i can get her email

Amr Gharbeia 19:36

And tell Mama too

And عبد الفتاح مراد 19:36

Lobna Darwish 19:37

yuot mother?

huh? 19:37

i'll tell her because you fucked without protection not for socialization 19:37

Amr Gharbeia 19:38

Yes, warn them all of the disease you know I have but won't tell me

Go 19:38

Lobna Darwish 19:38

why? are you planning to fuck mourad or your mother?

Amr Gharbeia 19:38

Lobna. You are not making much sense now, so please do whatever you feel like doing dear

Bye 19:38

Lobna Darwish 19:38

i will do whatever and i make all sense

bye 19:38

i have a schedueled appointment on the 14th of july, if you have any info and want to share them by then , please do 19:41

Amr Gharbeia 19:42

It is rude to ask for this while you have not sent me the test results that are already out

So please do this first 19:42

Lobna Darwish 19:42

i said if you want

Amr Gharbeia 19:42

You mean you don't want

OK 19:42

Lobna Darwish 19:42

if i knew any detials after the 14th i'll mail you a copy

Amr Gharbeia 19:43

OK

Lobna Darwish 19:44

haha the doctor questionnaire asks me if i feel safe in the relationship

anyway 19:44

salam, when i get the result- by the 21st i think- i'll mail you a copy 19:44

if you gave a fuck you would have tested and i would have got an HPV vaccine, but who cares? 19:46

anyway 19:46

salam 19:46

Amr Gharbeia 20:15

Sorry, I was away. I'd like to know about the only sure thing in this conversation: that STD that you have. NHS here takes quite a while to make doctor appointments, but I never said I will not tell you when I know. I will know when I get an appointment after the wounds here. This will not be before three weeks I guess

I am assuming of course that you have an STD, according to the lab 20:16

مع السلامة يا لبنى 20:19

Lobna Darwish 20:21

i do which is probably the warts, but i know the docotr will ask me to have another test -like he did before- and i can't afford 500$ worth of tests

and i told you that i'll send you a copu o the reuslts 20:21

Amr Gharbeia 20:22

You have a result there already Lobna waiting for you. Did they do any other thing than a blood sample?

Lobna Darwish 20:23

yes, a vaginal swab

and the results aren't avaiable online on the website and i know he wil ask me to take new ones 20:23

Amr Gharbeia 20:23

Without telling you the result of this one?

Lobna Darwish 20:24

yes because it's more than 3 months ago

Amr Gharbeia 20:24

Go find out Lobna

Lobna Darwish 20:24

do not tell me what to do

Amr Gharbeia 20:25

I am not giving orders obviously

Lobna Darwish 20:25

good

Amr Gharbeia 20:25

So go find out. that's the easiest and quickest way to get to the bottom of this, and you have been avoiding it for 3 months as you say

Lobna Darwish 20:26

i will go see a doctor for the whole thing and pay the 500 dollars and get over this whole period of my life

and it's good to end it that way 20:26

haha sex with you has been very expensive 20:26

Amr Gharbeia 20:26

مش ممكن ال بتعمليه و مش ممكن الأسلوب دا

Lobna Darwish 20:27

i'm doing nothing

Amr Gharbeia 20:27

You are making it more complex for everybody. Just go

Lobna Darwish 20:27

none of your business. and there is no "everybody" there is just me

Amr Gharbeia 20:28

مش ممكن ال بتعمليه دا

براحتك يا لبنى 20:28

Lobna Darwish 20:28

yes

Amr Gharbeia 20:28

كويس. المهم تبقي مبسوطة

Lobna Darwish 20:29

none of your business

Amr Gharbeia 20:29

أو بتعملي كدا علشان تأذي نفسك، برضه حياتك يا لبنى

هابقى أعرفك الأخبار لما أعرفها. سلام 20:29

Lobna Darwish 20:29

do not even bother

let go i'll go spend the fuckin money and get over all that shit 20:30

salam 20:30

Amr Gharbeia 20:31

Hang on

Lobna Darwish 20:31

what?

Amr Gharbeia 20:31

You knew I had gential warts since before we slept together. What is your problem now?

Lobna Darwish 20:32

i don't have any problem, did i complain about anything?

all this from start to end was my choices whith all the crap in it 20:32

Amr Gharbeia 20:33

Yes, you want to know now what kind of thing it is. If you have anything from me, you'd get it from the year before last year

From the red flat 20:33

Lobna Darwish 20:33

the two pregnancies were my fault, the std is my fault, you lying and deceiving me and taking you back was my fault

Amr Gharbeia 20:33

So why now is this suddenly a big thing?

Lobna Darwish 20:33

i don't want to know anymore

yes the fuckin red fat 20:33

it's not, never mind. i don't even care. i just want to end this horrible story 20:34

Amr Gharbeia 20:35

So, what is the problem? What does this have to do with the two pregnencies and the other stuff?

Seriously, Lobna 20:35

You knew I had genital warts before we first hugged at the airport 20:35

Lobna Darwish 20:35

nothing, just all the result of my bad judgment

Amr Gharbeia 20:36

What bad judgement?

Lobna Darwish 20:36

everything about us was a result of my bad judgment

Amr Gharbeia 20:37

You new, you chose, I guess you made STD tests the year before and had no genital warts, you made this test now, which result you do not know, and you still insist I gave you genital warts becuase of something that has to do with the person whom you call my 'lover'.

What does genital warts have to do with any of this? 20:37

Lobna Darwish 20:38

i didn't test for warts last eyar, i'm not rich enough to check the everything box

i didn't say any of this 20:38

Amr Gharbeia 20:38

OK. You knew I had this and you saw it so early. Why is this now a problem Lobna

Lobna Darwish 20:40

it doesn't matter but just as a reminfer you said you tested and was clear and that these were زوايد جلدية

anyway it doesn't matter, i should get over this dark part of my life 20:40

Amr Gharbeia 20:43

I said genital warts the day we met at Le Chantilly. I spent weeks afterwards feeling guilty about it and trying not to sleep with you, then trying not to sleep with you without a condom, especially that you had ignored me asking for three months before that you take the pill because you did not feel like it, and you insisted that we sleep together (and I wanted you too) and you insisted that we do it without a condom, probably because you wanted to be fully with me, and I resisted, and it made you upset, and you cried that I resisted (I guess you felt rejected)

Lobna Darwish 20:44

me taking a pill or not is not a request posibility, none of your business

Amr Gharbeia 20:44

How come all this disappears and suddenly I gave you the warts

Answer the rest too 20:44

Lobna Darwish 20:44

and yes i said it was my bad jdgment, i should have said no regradless of anything

i learned my lesson though, it cost me a lot 20:45

Amr Gharbeia 20:45

There was no offers Lobna to say no to. I was the one ashamed about it

I was the one not offering 20:45

Lobna Darwish 20:45

yes my bad judgment

the whole relationship was based on my bad judgment 20:45

Amr Gharbeia 20:45

No Lobna, not just a judgment. You said I gave it to you

Lobna Darwish 20:46

what? i didn't say so

i don't know my results yet, but i'm, sure you gave me soemthing 20:46

other than an abortion and a miscarriage 20:46

Amr Gharbeia 20:48

Just like you said I did not care and made you pregnant. I avoided sleeping with you for weeks at all, then after that avoided without protection, and before all that asked and asked and asked you take the pill so we do not get where we got. How could you say I don't give a shit and did this to you?

And still I learned my lesson and would not sleep with you again without the pill or protection the following summer, and you got pregnant after all, something I still do not understand, but I also do not understand how you say I do not give a shit 20:49

Lobna Darwish 20:49

want to take pills take them, don't ask anybody else to do it. and yes again my bad judgment and do not worry you didn't have to bear any of the consequences of my bad judment

oh yes you don't understand because it doesn't exist for yoy aslan 20:50

just another man 20:50

i was a fool and it payed for it, and still do 20:51

Amr Gharbeia 20:51

No Lonba, I bore those consequences and it affected the relationship I want the most. You went over the top with making you pregnant twice and blaming me about and days and weeks of anger and sadness about me doing this to you, and you called me so many things that I am not

Lobna Darwish 20:51

so no big deal

Amr Gharbeia 20:51

Just like you do now

Lobna Darwish 20:51

fuck the so called relationship, it was in itself a bad judgment

don't worry i'm sure you can find someone who'd tell you that you're none of these names you say i called you, go to them 20:52

Amr Gharbeia 20:53

And when you arrived the second time we had slept together only once, with protection, and you panicked about being pregnant in a week that you physically cannot get pregnant in when we were at Salma's, and then you say I do not give a fuck about the miscarriage when I had a totally unreal experience and when I knew I had refused (again, refused) to sleep with you without protection once you stopped taking the pill

How come after all this, I am just a man who does not give a fuck? 20:54

Lobna Darwish 20:54

oh sorry for forcing you to sleep with me

Amr Gharbeia 20:54

And look at how you are responding now

Lobna Darwish 20:54

go fuck yourself amr, you're full of shit

Amr Gharbeia 20:54

I might do this as well. Goodbye

Lobna Darwish 20:55

good

salam 20:55

Lobna Darwish 21:05

i hate you and i'll never forgive myself for messing my life that way

Amr Gharbeia 21:13

And I will always love you Lobna. You hurt me a lot, and I hurt you too, but that's beside the point. You hurt yourself most of all. I wish I could take away all this pain from you and I tried for a while, but only you can do this habibi

Lobna Darwish 21:14

don't even cal me that

Amr Gharbeia 21:15

Even if I don't Lobna, you know and I know this is what I feel and call you in my head

Lobna Darwish 21:15

and no you don't LOVE me, you didn't. you liked me at some point yes. probably you don't even love anybody

i hate that i was fucked three years, while your life was under your tips if i didn't exist 21:16

i fucked myself just like any oppressed woman does 21:16

i let myself be fucked with for fuckin three years 21:16

and i will always hate you for it 21:16

Amr Gharbeia 21:17

You will hate me for letting yourself get fucked with? and who fucked your life Lobna? How?

Lobna Darwish 21:18

i did fuck my life but letting you fuck with me. and i hate you because you showed me how weak i am and how i can let myself be fucked with

i hate you ebcause you didn't deserve any bit of it 21:18

i hate you because i knew fopr a long time that you're just like everybody and i tricked myself 21:18

Amr Gharbeia 21:19

Like everybody إزاي Lobna?

Lobna Darwish 21:19

i hate you because you've been an asshole to me for most of these three years. while ypur life , your plans, your lovers are still there not effected

just like them, another man acting like a well socialized one, a smarter one maybe, different now 21:20

Amr Gharbeia 21:20

How do you say my life is not affected? What other plans did I have but you? And who are those lovers you are talking about?

Lobna Darwish 21:21

come on, none in your life changed, you were waiting for the AI job and that what made you move, three yeas and you didn't leave your home for me. even when i was traveling for you, you barely could meet me

fuck my bad judgment 21:21

Amr Gharbeia 21:26

What possibilities where there to leave my home for you? There was one possibility after we knew you were pregnant in 2008, but you told me not to come. What was the main thing about this AI job if not a possibility that I get a place of my own in a city where you can study and live with me? How were you travelling for me the second summer when you had told me before that we are not together and came to fuck me just one last time, and that one last time turned into the most difficult week ever? How come you came for me when you had to leave the country because your visa expired? How can you explain all this and still say I did nothing and you did everything for me?

Lobna Darwish 21:27

are you stupid?

Amr Gharbeia 21:27

No, I am not stupid

Lobna Darwish 21:28

i could have gone anywhere , what else did i have in cairo but you?

Amr Gharbeia 21:28

Then why tell me we are not together and that you just want to fuck me one last time?

Lobna Darwish 21:28

and you know pretty well that the AI job had nothignto do with me, that was your plan you don't want to live in egypt and i was lcear that i don't want to leave anywhere else

stop pretending it doesn't count anymore 21:28

nothing amr, please stay as egocentric as you are 21:29

good luck with it 21:29

Amr Gharbeia 21:30

What are you talking about Lobna? You are now telling me I should not take your word and should have treated you like a kid

Why would you say things and do other things? 21:30

Lobna Darwish 21:30

i'mnot saying that, and it's none of your business

Amr Gharbeia 21:31

What kind of attitude is this? Of course it is my business. You are saying things that make no sense and it is us you are talking about

Why would you leave me, and then leave me, and then leave me and then leave me, but actually you have not left me? 21:32

Lobna Darwish 21:32

there is no us, there was never one

no i left you 21:32

left nothing behind though 21:33

Amr Gharbeia 21:33

So if you have left me then, why do you call me stupid now?

And why you told me earlier today that this is the first real time you are leaving me for good? 21:33

And why should I believe you now when you have always said the same thing? 21:33

Lobna Darwish 21:33

i take it back, you're smart, but just another man, a smart one.

try me 21:34

Amr Gharbeia 21:34

And how can I trust you when you do not mean what you say?

And how do you explain any of this to yourself 21:34

Lobna Darwish 21:34

you don't need to trust me

none of your business 21:34

Amr Gharbeia 21:35

If I do not need to trust you, then how am I supposed to have treated you like an adult and not manage you, and if I cannot trust you and you do not want me to trust you, then why get upset when I do manage the situation

How do you explain any of this to yourself? 21:35

Lobna Darwish 21:35

i mean now you don't need to trust me

none of your business how i explain it 21:36

Amr Gharbeia 21:36

Why with all these valid questions all I get from you in return is verbal abuse?

Lobna Darwish 21:36

haha ok i verbally abuse you

leave me then 21:36

Amr Gharbeia 21:37

I do ignore them and leave you when I feel I need to. It is called dealing with my anger. Why do you turn to sarcasm each time I am not offended by your verbal abuse?

Lobna Darwish 21:39

i do enjoy sarcasm, and i think you're full of shit, it's fun to make fun of that

Amr Gharbeia 21:39

Do you feel better now?

Lobna Darwish 21:39

what?

Amr Gharbeia 21:40

صوتي واطي؟ ما سمعتيش؟

I asked if you feel better now 21:40

Lobna Darwish 21:40

better than what?

Amr Gharbeia 21:40

Than before the name calling Lobna

Lobna Darwish 21:41

no, and it's not to make me feel better

Amr Gharbeia 21:41

Yes, it has no purpose. It does not hurt me and it will never make you feel better

It is one of those things that do no good 21:42

Lobna Darwish 21:42

yes i know it won't hurt you, nothing can hurt you aslan

Amr Gharbeia 21:43

The real things hurt me. Name calling doesn't

Lobna Darwish 21:43

nothing hurt you amr, in order to be hurt you need either to care of to be physically hurt. and lucky you none apply

Amr Gharbeia 21:46

You have actually hurt me on the day in that difficult week when you arrived in Egypt to tell me how horrible I am, and say that we are over and you will walk out of this door to kill yourself. I prevented you from leaving and you ended up beating me with anything you could get your hands on. I was physically hurt that day. The you-don't-care thing is old and repeated. Try telling that to anyone who knows us. Check your feelings with reality.

Lobna Darwish 21:47

good. at least i hurt you back a little. good to know, so next time you remember it when you're witha woman

Lobna Darwish 22:09

ok

Amr Gharbeia 22:09

I am still writing a response to this

Lobna Darwish 22:10

i have a dotocr appointment in few minutes

hurry up if you want 22:10

Amr Gharbeia 22:10

I am hurrying

Remember what? Let me remind you of the context of why you ended up at my home and attempt to hurt me: you decided this relationship is not working and you wanted out. Your visa expired and you had to come to Egypt. You asked me to find a flat and help you settle in Cairo and find you a job because you were never going to get the visa and money to study again (exaggeration and unnecessary stress). I said it is a bad idea to come to find a flat when you have no money to support yourself the entire summer. You said OK, and then told me if I will just sleep with you one last time for goodbye, and asked me to pick you up from the airport, and asked me to decide because your mother and Reda wanted to pick you up as well and you refused that we all see you there. I ended up picking you up. You had started taken the pill this time (although we are not together like you said). You stayed one night at my parent's, something that never happens with anyone else, but you still accept to treat them from a distance, and I stored your bags and helped you find a hotel. You did not want to spend rare money on hotel, so you checked out of Lotus and went to Malek and Sahar, all the time complaining inthe street about how horrible Cairo is and how much you do not enjoy it and how much stressed it made you in 24 hours. I left you with Malek and Sahar after one in the morning, and at two you wanted me to leave bed to come meet you now, and said how much I do not care. I said you can come if you want but i am not going down at this hour. You cut your hair and had a horrible night, came to see me at six in the morning. You slept in my bed. I stayed next to you while asleep, kept you company while awake, sat next to you while you wrote the university applications, fixed you something to eat, all none stop from 6 in the morning to 7:30 in the evening. I then looked at my computer while you were looking at yours, then you left in anger because I ignore you and do not care about you. I began to feel sick that day. The following day you came to take your luggage and explained you do not want the luggage to cause any problems at my family's home, especially that you were going to kill yourself anyway. We had that scene where you ended up trying to hit me with anything you tried to get your hands on, and then I calmed you down and took you, with the luggage, while feverish, and put you at Laila's home in Alexandria. I was too sick to eat with you at Mohamed Ahmed, never mind return at the same night and went to sleep in the other room. You stripped me naked while even more hot that 38 degrees and wanted to sleep with me to feel good about yourself. You wanted the same thing again when you wanted to throw yourself from Lotus Hotel 7th floor and I took you to sleep at Mona's. I went home the following day to Cairo. You followed me a couple of days later, stayed with Mona, then left her place not telling any one where you are going. You checked in Lotus Hotel, called me to say you were going to kill yourself and said bye-bye. I kept you on the phone for 90 minutes using every trick I know and told Ahmad, Jane, Youssri, and Mona to head downtown and wait there until I find out which hotel you were going to kill yourself from. I came later with Mostafa and met you in Estoril. You were making conversation with them all and Ahmad Naje who was there and sat a little with Mostafa and started treatement with him the following weeks and felt better initially, but as we were leaving the restuarant you said that I did something wrong and put you in an embarrassing situation. I said I'd do this to anyone, so you told me to go to those anyones and leave you alone. We went to stay at Mona's and as I was breaking down you asked me to fuck you because you were trying to feel better about yourself. This is the week that you think I was good in and took good care of you. This is OK by your standards, but even then you often, like now, say that I never cared about you, and I am just like all them men

Amr Gharbeia 22:20

Goodnight Lobna. Let me know please what the doctor says